Random feelings on dealing with pressure, under pressure.

I am not going to raise the topic of mental health. As important as it is, I feel like recently it has become too dramatised and, dare I say, severely “overhyped”. If it happens, it’s bad. And let’s just leave it there.

But imagine being 20 years old, away from home, and practically by yourself. If you are past that stage, do you remember how terrifying it was to make the first independent decisions regarding your life? If you remember, or you think you can relate, image living with this fear of making a mistake, every day. For months.

Imagine the fear of letting down your family, or friends, or whoever you look up to and whoever you want to make proud. The fear, which follows you from morning to night, every day. For years.

And imagine being 20, when you start getting to know people, you are also getting to know the world and you realise, that the world is letting you down. Imagine seeing your dreams collapse or completely vanish. And once again, you live in fear of disappointment in yourself.

So let’s say something happened, or you just reached a peak of exhaustion from fear. Life starts literally falling apart, because the more factors of fear you have, the more pressured you are. And when something breaks through on the inside, the outside starts to collapse.

There is no escape from this destruction process, because if you think about it – we’re all tied down to something. To a rented room, because we still need a bed to sleep, to a crap part-time job, because we need to pay the rent for that bed and feed ourselves, to a learning institution, because we are not letting are beloved ones know how we are struggling, and so on.

Which leads on to a point: whenever you feel like falling – fall. Cry your heart out, be as moody as you want for as long as you desire. Because when you reach the ground, there are people waiting there to have a talk with you; there are opportunities to grab and goals to realise and achieve. Quite cheesy, but every ending is a new beginning.

And even if nothing new awaits, after every low comes a high. If you accept this, you will never fear to fall again.


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